Phineas & Ferb: The Musical
by TheHandicap
Summary: It's the 104th day of Summer Vacation, and the kids are dealing with Summer ending. The Kids finally show interest in the disappearance of their respective pets Perry - Phineas & Ferb, Pinky - Isabella Garcia-Shapiro .
1. Act I: Perry's Secret & Phineas' Sadness

Narrator. (Calendar flips to the last day of summer; Music plays) There's… only one day left of summer vacation, before fall and school come to end it! (Zoom in to Flynn-Fletcher backyard) So… the annual problem for this generation, is finding a good way to end... it! Like… maybe…!

Phineas Flynn-Fletcher. (Jamming on his guitar; Ferb is playing the drums) Building a rocket,  
or fighting a mummy, or climbing up the Eiffel Tower. Discovering something that doesn't exist, or giving a monkey a shower. Surfing tidal waves, creating nanobots, or locating Frankenstein's brain. Finding a dodo bird, Painting a continent, or driving our sister insane.

Candace Flynn-Fletcher. (On the microphone) _Phineas!_

Phineas Flynn-Fletcher. …As you can see, there's a whole lotta' stuff to do before school starts on the very first day of Fall. So… stick with us because Phineas and Ferb are gonna' do it… all! So stick with us because Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all!!!

Candace Flynn-Fletcher. _Mom!_ Phineas, and Ferb are making a Musical!

Ferb Flynn-Fletcher. (Bangs on the drums a final time; Phineas strums a lasting beat on the guitar)

Act I:

(Stage: Phineas and Ferb are outside the Flynn-Fletcher house with Perry the Platypus, Isabella, Pinky the Chihuahua , Baljeet, Buford the Bully, and surprisingly Irving. Pinky is shaking like always, and our beloved are dealing with the fact of Summer coming to an abrupt end.)

Phineas. "What!? Summer's officially ending tomorrow… how could it be? I thought we still had like… [3] more seasons… I mean weeks to go?" (He would look down; saddened)

Ferb. "Time passes when you're having fun…" (He held up a finger; making a logical point.)

Isabella Garcia-Shapiro. "Yeah…, this summer sure has been great." (Isabella said with her usual smile; the hearts in her eyes saddened to her crushes sadness.)

Baljeet. "Friends, let us remember all of the good times we've had…" (As the flashbacks occurred, a song could be heard.)

Backup-singers. "Summer, I love summer, Give me that summer time, summer, maybe 86,400 seconds that's fast. Have to make summer last." (They repeated it several times, them stopping after the flashback ended.

Buford. "Hey. How come I wasn't in that flashback of yours?" (He looked furiously at Baljeet; he cracked his knuckles, preparing to do his job as a bully.)

Phineas. (Smiled again) "Yeah… they were." (He looked around, noticing his pet platypus' disappearance.) "Hey. Where's Perry?"

Isabella. (Looking around, noticing her pet Chihuahua is gone too.) "Hey! Where's Pinky?!"

Irving. (Jumping up and down, laughing like a schoolgirl.) "He said the words!"

Baljeet. (Given a Wedgie; rolling eyes at Irving) "What a nerd!"

Phineas. "Hm…" (Music plays)

_Where are you Perry? – Song Start_

'_Where did he go?_

_Why can't I know?_

_Every day he vanishes,_

_Without a trace._

_Why can't I find his…_

_Simple face?_

_Oh… Perry!_

_Perry!_

_Why is it so tough?_

_Perry!_

_Was I too rough?_

_Perry!_

_Please… come home._

_Perry…_

_Don't leave us alone…'_

_Where are you Perry? – Song End_

(Music Stops)

"Hey guys… lets go see if we can find, Perry & Pinky. Maybe… hey Ferb! Maybe we can use that Secret Agent lair you made us around the beginning of the summer to find Perry and Pinky! You didn't destroy it did you?"

Ferb. "Actually I-…" (He was interrupted)

Phineas. (Pushing in on the Tree's lair entrance chute; it opening up) "Yes! I knew you wouldn't let us down Ferb! C'mon everybody!" (He slide down the chute-slide)

Backup-singers. "Summer, I love summer, Give me that summer time, summer, maybe 86,400 seconds that's fast. Have to make summer last."

Everyone. (Slide down)

Major Francis Monogram. "Agent P, Dr. Doofenshmirtz is up to his u-u-u-usu…! Ah!" (Ducked down under the camera screen; whispering) "Carl! I thought I told you to tear out the Tree Entrance!"

Carl the Intern. "Sir, I hired a Demolition, but they can't do it with the Flynn-Fletcher's around. Sorry, sir."

Monogram. "Great Carl… just great."

Perry. (Turned to notice the boys, panicking, and removing the Agent Fedora, making his Platypus noise)

Phineas. "Hey. Where'd that guy go?" (He looked around, walking to Perry, and picking him up)

Isabella. "So this is where Perry went… now we just need to find Pinky."

Phineas. "Perry. You see Pinky walk by here?" (He looked at his pet platypus, just remembering something) "Oh right, you're just a platypus… of course. Now where, oh where, could little Pinky have shook off to?"

Baljeet. "Well… maybe he went back to Isabella's house?"

Isabella. "No way, Pinky never runs off just to go to my house… Pinky usually pops up out o-…"

Phineas. "What the? Look guys… some kind of Fedora was left lying on the ground…?" (Picks it up; he pulls a hair out of it) "And… look, this green hair sort of reminds me of… Perry's fur…"

Ferb. "Perhaps this is where Perry runs off to everyday…?" (Everyone looks at Perry)

Perry. (Makes his Platypus sound; beginning to get nervous)

Monogram. "_Carl, we better make a distraction so Agent P can get away from his owners', and his owners' friends, to stop Doofenshmirtz._"

Carl. "_I'm on it, sir._"

Monogram. (On-screen again.) "Hehehe… hello, Agent P… uhh… again. We need you… uhh… for a mission! Yes, that's it! You've got a 'special assignment' to do today."

Phineas. "An assignment… I don't know, I'm kind of busy… what do I got to do?"

Monogram. "Umm… the dastardly, Doctor Carlon… Internus… umm… has created a Laser beam to… freeze Danville's Freshwater supply. …We need you to put… a… stop… to… it."

Phineas. "Hm… sounds important… c'mon guys. This should probably be fast. Grab all the spy gadgets you can."

Carl. (Off-screen) "_Sir! The kids could get seriously hurt… and also me! I hope you're sure about this. Cause… I don't want to hurt them?_"

Monogram. (Turned off screen; facing Carl.) "_Well… do you want Agent P to be discovered, either?_"

Carl. "_No, sir. I'm sorry… I'll do what I can. Just send Agent P over to Doofenshmirtz', cause if your briefing with Agent P was correct… we could have a Final Ice Age on our hands…_"


	2. Act II: Doofsicles & Iced Perry

ACT II: (Doofenshmirtz Evil INC. is full of snow, and ice-picks. Heinz is sitting on a chair, looking at the snow fall in his house.)

Doofenshmirtz. "Ahh… there's no business like, 'Snow Business.' …That really sounded corny." (Interrupted by a knock.) "Probably 'Perry-the-late-platypus' here to thwart my Evil plan for today." (Opens door)

Agent P. (Standing casually infront of the open door)

Doofenshmirtz. "_Ahh… _Perry the Platypus… right on schedule! And by that I mean… completely late!" (Presses a button on a control switch, and Perry trapped in a Platypus cage) "Nice of you to finally join me."

Agent P. (Making platypus noise)

Doofenshmirtz. "You see back in Gimmelschtump, in the days of my youth… the weather was so warm – we never got any snow. So when it finally came to the Tri-state area, I always loathe it; which is why… I built the _Snow-Globe-inator!_ This ray will cover the entire planet in snow! Thus,…I estimated making a new Ice Age, but just Snow covering the entire planet is good too."

Agent P. (Rolls eyes)

Doofenshmirtz. "Don't laugh at me… at least I'm not locked up! Y'know… my plan is best expressed through song…,"

_**Snow Day for everyone – Heinz Doofenshmirtz**_

'_Summer is so lame,_

_The end of spring is a shame,_

_But I only look forward to one special fame…!_

_Snow is so fun,_

_When all the kids run,_

_And my Evil-Good deed is done!_

_There'll be snow everywhere,_

_Nobody will even care,_

_Cause there's nothing to scare!_

_It'll be a snow-day!_

_Proclaimed a brand-new holiday!_

_And who'll be to blame?_

_To carry no shame?_

_For this beautiful, '_

_Wonderful,_

_Holiday!_

_It's a Snow Day!'_

_**Snow Day For Everyone – Heinz Doofenshmirtz – Song End  
**_

Doofenshmirtz. "Now, prepare for my _Snow-Globe-inator's _fire into the sky…! Hahahaha!!" (Is about to fire the laser)

Perry. (Looks up to spot an icicle, and jumps the cage up and down. The vibrations make the icicles drop, and make holes big enough to split the cage in half)

Doofenshmirtz. "What the…? I knew I should've put those icicles somewhere else!"

Back-up Singers. "He's Perry- Perry the Platypus! He's Perry! Perry the- Agent P!"

Perry. (Tackles Doofenshmirtz)

Doofenshmirtz. "Hey! Don't touch that!" (Slaps away Perry's hand)

Buzzer. (Dings)

Doofenshirtz. "_Score!_ My Doonkelberry Donuts are done!" (Takes Perry over with him as he takes it out of the oven) "Where are my manors? Here you go Perry the Platypus." (Hands Perry a Donut)

Perry. (Blows a Bat Whistle)

Doofenshmirtz. "Great Shnuckle-bread! What have you done!?!" (Panicking)

Bats with fedoras. (They attack Heinz as he holds the plate of Donuts)

Doofenshmirtz. "Eh. Win some. Lose some. This seems to happen a lot. I've got to stop using Doonkelberry pastries." (Sighs)

Perry. (Sneaks over to the _Snow-Globe-Inator_)

Singers.

"**Quiet," – Backup Singers START**

"_He's got to be quiet,_

_No fussing,_

_Nor riot. _

_He's got to sneak past Dr. D,_

_Fool him over._

_For if Agent P,_

_Crosses us blind._

_There won't be hope, _

_For all of mankind. _

_It… all rests on him,_

_And his success._

_For Dr. D is positively,_

_At his best. _

_So be sure to do,_

_One thing today._

_Don't let that mad-man,_

_Get away._

_Agent P's gotta be quiet._

_He'll try it._

_He cannot deny it._

_For if he can't supply it,_

_We are all done for._

_And this looks like the end, _

_Before Agent P goes back out the door._"

"**Quiet," – Backup Singers END**

Doofenshmirtz. "Hey! Get away from there!" (Throws a bat at the switch, activating it.) "Hahaha! Finally, my revenge has been seeked!" (Attacked by the bats) "Ow! Curse you Ben, Brick, Bessie, Brie, Bob, Boo, Baxter, and Brendan the Doonkelberry Bats! And… you too, Perry the Platypus!"

Perry. (Major Monogram appears on Perry's communicator watch)

Monogram. "_Agent P, due to your defeat, and Doctor Doofenshmirtz blasting the Earth with his Snow-Globe-Inator, we need you to go Bad-Platypus on him so you get the facts from him. When you have it, we need you to reverse the effects by re-wiring the Snow-Globe-Inator, thus, preventing a New Ice Age. Do you understand your new mission?_"

Perry. (Nods nervously)

Monogram. "_Excellent… Monogram out!_"

Perry. (Watches Communicator fade to black, and waddles on his billed-feet to Doofenshmirtz, who sits alone since the bats left)

Doofenshmirtz. "I heard _Francis_, and 'No' I won't tell you how to disable it's effects."

Perry. (Trips Doofenshmirtz, making him land on his face, and drags him over to the _Snow-Globe-Inator_.)

Doofenshmirtz. "Hey! Hey! Wait a minute?! What are you doing, Perry the Platypus?" (Struggling, but no match) "What are you going to do to me? Tickle me till I tell you?" (Laughs)

Perry. (Pokes his foot into the laser's shot, freezing it, to demonstrate what he'll do)

Doofenshmirtz. "Oh… well. Freeze me than. I'll never talk!" (Grin)

Perry. (Sticks Doofenshmirtz in the laser's shot, freezing him in a block of ice; he looks frighteningly as he is stuck there) "Grrrrggggg…" (Sighs in despair)

_Game Over – Backup Singers – Start_

'_After all of our fights,_

_And duels before night;_

_Could this be true,_

_Or am I just thinking so blue?_

_It's game over!_

_I gave him the cold shoulder._

_I left him like the mars rover,_

_Or a pesky Four-leaf clover,_

_Maybe even my old rover! _

_It's these sort of things that_

_I cannot believe of,_

_Like a worm beating_

_A big tall dove. _

_It's all over now._

_Don't ask how._

_You can't really give a cow._

_It's… over now.'_  
_Game Over – Backup Singers – END_

Perry. (Beats down the door, and runs off, leaving Doofenshmirtz stuck there)


	3. Francis & Heinz LIVE

Heinz and Francis' monologue:

Monogram. "Hello viewers. I, Francis Monogram, would like to thank you for posting reviews, and liking the _Phineas and Ferb: The Musical_ that Carl has _borrowed_ the idea from."

Doofenshmirtz. "_Yeah…,_ I just did it for the chance to be on the internet…" (Fiddles with fingers)

Monogram. "Anywho, we are sad to say the ACT III is going to be put on hold due to a sad form of writer's block, and by writer, I mean: _Carl!_ So, don't abandon us, and you'll get a chance to see Agent P-"

Doofenshmirtz. "-Perry the Platypus"

Monogram. "Make a guest appearance in our next monologue! …So Heinz, I heard Agent P gave you the _'Cold-shoulder'_ and put your evil plans _'on-ice' _ "

Doofenshmirtz. "Oh, ha-di-ha-ha… well, atleast my first name isn't for a girl…" (Folds arms)

Monogram. "Touché Heinz… Touché."

Doofenshmirtz. "Hey? This is a musical isn't? Why don't we both sing a song – separately, to keep with the musical-vibes?"

Monogram. "I suppose so… take it away Heinz!"

**Frozen – Sung by Heinz Doofenshmirtz – Phineas and Ferb: The Musical**

Doofenshmirtz.

"I've been frozen,

By a Platypus.

Could my life,

Possibly, get any worse?

But, my entire scheme,

Of world domination

Will no longer be just a…

Proclamation!

The world will soon,

Feel my pain!

And to only reverse it,

I'll soon reign!

But, for now…

I'm Frozen!

Boy, do I wish..

I had an oven.

Then, I could defrost,

And no time could be lost.

But, for awhile…

I'll stay froooo-zeeeennn!"

Monogram. "Nice song, Heinz. Now… let's see…"

**My Fake Father – Sung by Major Monogram – Phineas and Ferb: The Musical**

"He told me…

'Son go to the Academy…'

But, I didn't want…

'I don't want to daddy…'

He said:

'I am not your father'

Which tore me up inside

The fact that I couldn't

Seem to cry.

He was…

My fake father!

Not the real one!

So why could I bother?

My Fake father!

All the fun we had!

My fake father!

Who cares if he isn't my real dad!?

He taught me to have to love,

And care for my pet dove.

He taught me how to drive,

And showed me how to dive.

It doesn't matter who is he is,

Or he was.

And all of that…

Is because…

He's my…

Fake…

Father!

…So don't even bother!"

Heinz. "OK, kiddies. With that being done, wait in stored for the new ACT of… (Fireworks go off, as he lifts up his hands) … Phineas & Ferb: The Musical!"

Monogram. "We have a burning indifference…"

Heinz. "Oh, and feel free to file a review, telling Dr. Coconut-"

Monogram. "-_Carl._"

Heinz. "Yeah, him too… with any ideas, or anything you want to see in the Musical. We are even offering to let some of you at high request to appear on the Musical as heck knows what kind of cameos. But, don't worry, we'll add you in."

Monogram. "…If, you answer the following question correctly: _There are two known bands whose names are absolutely told. What do these two groups call themselves? Name each member of the bands, and who voices them in the show._"

Heinz. "One last word before signing out, or Francis decides to go street on us again…"

Monogram. "I told you I was just joking!"

Heinz. "Fine-fine, mister-grouchy. Any who, if you want new Talk show hosts let us know. By the way, if you pick an O.W.C.A. Agent, we will get an Animal Translator. But, I'll end it on a few words… we need a computer! I-I mean, we still are using that Type-writer from the Musical Cliptastic Countdown, but not with Agent M… he's… well… in a Zoo now. Bad choice, really bad choice of Agents. Anyway, as I leave, I'll be asking all of you if you agree with me, and if you've ever used a type-writer."

Monogram. "Man… that's what I get for working with an Evil Scientist…"

Heinz. "Evil Doctor for your information!"

Monogram. "Whatever… so, so long folks!"

(Fade Out)


End file.
